Do You Have An Abusive Boyfriend?
By: Chris McElroy -
Statistics show that 1 out of 3 teenagers has experienced
violence in a dating relationship. Most cases involve one partner
trying to maintain power and control over the other through some
kind of abuse.
Most victims of Dating violence are young women who are also at
higher risk for serious injury. Women ages 16 to 24 experience the
highest per capita rates of intimate violence -- nearly 1 out of 50
women.(Bureau of Justice Special Report: Intimate Partner Violence,
May 2001)
Teen dating violence often is hidden because teenagers are
inexperienced, want independence from their parents. and they are
pressured by peers to begin dating at an early age.
Some young men may believe they have the right to "control" you or
they think they will lose "respect" if they are attentive and
supportive toward their girlfriends.
Are you at fault?
You might think you are the one who is causing the problem. You may
think that his jealousy and abusiveness means he really loves you
so much he can't control himself.
You might think because you have friends that are also being abused
that this is normal or you may think you can change him.
You would be wrong on any of those counts and statistics prove that
beyond a shadow of a doubt. If your boyfriend is abusive now, he
will not get better, he will get worse until one day he hurts you
really bad or even kills you. It's that serious.
Ask yourself these questions; If you answer yes to one or more of
the following questions about the boy you are dating then you are
in danger of having a serious problem. If several of these are yes,
get a new boyfriend.
Is he using alcohol or drugs?
Does he have extreme mood swings? Happy one minute and angry the
next?
Is he extremely jealous? Does he get into fights with other boys
who pay you attention?
Does he use force during an argument or during intimacy?
Does he blame others or make excuses about his problems?
Is he verbally abusive to you? (yelling all the time, putting you
down, calling you stupid, threatening you?)
Does he treat his mother with disrespect or is he mean to her? Do
former girlfriends say he abused them?
Does he try to control you or tell you what to do, who you can see,
where you can go all the time?
Does he try to keep you away from your family or try to make you
dependent on him, telling you that he knows what is best for you
and your family is always wrong?
I repeat if even two of those things is true, you need to break it
off and get as far away from him as possible, because these are all
signs of someone who abuses or will abuse women.
Chris McElroy is the Founder of the Kidsearch Network and RunawayTeens.org See the Missing Children Blog for more information.
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